|Posted on August 29, 2011 at 9:15 PM||comments ()|
Looking into the study of tribes and tribal men, not only from the past, but also in today’s society, I can see a correlation between the hunters of the past and modern day man’s actions and way of thinking.
Men of most cultures and backgrounds act and respond, in a similar fashion, to emotional and physical challenges that they are presented with on any given occasion.
Our forefathers were not only the hunters, but also the prey. They had to trust their instincts to act and react to be able to stay alive and find food.
This reptilian-brain instinct is still alive and strong today in most men, especially in some of our elite sporting people, where they act and react instantly to the slightest opportunities that unfold around them.
Some cultures will have a stronger reaction than others because of their exposure to extreme conditions and violent upbringing or cultural background. This can vary from person to person, but all men will inherit the masculine traits that exist within the male genus.
Man’s initial instinct resonates with the ancient traits of the hunter. Men are easily excited by the challenges of the hunt and they automatically react - they have an instant body reaction to what is happening around them.
They still possess the ways of the reptilian brain - that is to strike out at anything that ‘steps on their tail’, or tries to corner or restrict their movement. And like the reptile, they are energized by the power of the Sun.
This is a very ancient tribal way of understanding the connection between the fire energy of the Sun and the fire energy within man.
Men also work from the body more so than the mind. They have body changes and reactions within their muscle tissue that instantly prepare them for the challenges of danger or the hunt. The male body instinctively responds to the need for fight or flight.
This instant reaction can be observed by noticing how the breathing changes and by what muscles respond in the body, to what men are seeing or hearing.
Also, man possesses the two chemicals that, when mixed together, can cause a combustion or even an explosive reaction.These chemicals are adrenaline and testosterone.
Tests have proven that when these chemicals flood the male body, they not only pump up the muscle tissue to give it power to throw the spear or run for cover, but they also inhibit the messages to and from the left and right hand sides of the male brain. This causes a breakdown in the ability to empathize and reflect, which may not return for many hours, if at all.
The male reacts more through the body. Whereas the female will think and talk, the male will instinctively react.
The exception to this is if a male is asked ‘How do you feel?’ Because of their instinct to react, it can be difficult for men to identify feelings and will therefore be more likely to tell you what they think.
This sort of question will still cause a flood of those chemicals that drive the man to fight or run. Man’s reaction will be based solely on survival. If the questions asked of him seem like they might place him deeper in danger or conflict, then instincts for survival rule the response. He might try to avoid, change, or control the conversation so as to bring distance between himself and the situation he is faced with.
Men work well in a male environment where they compete, work and have an instinctive reaction with the men around them. It’s about how they ‘hunt together’.
It changes however, when a female is involved. Often the emphasis for females is on what is going on in the mind, and discussing actions, reactions, feelings and emotions. Pressure to communicate in this way will often kick off the process of the chemical rush - the man will start to feel the adrenaline flood his body and mind and his actions will become less reliable.
Boys start this journey at an early age. They have the need for action, movement, and physical challenges, compared to sitting in one place playing and talking.
This physical, male, hunter urge is further heightened at the onset of puberty. Research has shown that in this time, the testosterone levels will increase somewhere in the range of 600% to 700%. This change, along with the need for excitement fueled by adrenaline, can make for a very unpredictable individual.
Then comes peer group pressure and mentoring by stronger and more erratic individuals. Within any group, the one with the most fire will stimulate the competitive nature in the others to engage them. Chemical reaction will feed the power, adrenaline will feed the need for action and then testosterone is the detonator that will ignite the explosion.
Men have an interest in sport and business because it stimulates that competitive drive that the early hunters had to survive in challenging environments.
Watching men battle it out, whether it is on the sporting fields of the world, in the boardrooms or in any work environment, the competitive nature is firmly engrained in man’s way of doing and thinking! It is about power.
The male hunters had to act instinctively on the run, if they stopped to think about when to throw the spear, then they might miss the opportunity, and this action could be the difference between them surviving or dying. Or in the case of today’s sporting people, winning or losing.
Men relate to the heroes in life. They can all feel the body react to the challenge. Sometimes as they are watching sporting events their bodies will react with muscle movement similar to those they are watching.
The females of our species operate from the energy and cycles of the Moon.
Men on the other hand operate on the energy of the Sun - that hot combustible force that shines its light on Mother Earth so that she can give birth to and grow our flora.
The Moon and Earth are about cycles, where as the Sun is about fire, heat, combustion and light. It is the biggest and loudest and it certainly does its best to stand out in the crowd!
|Posted on October 4, 2009 at 2:13 AM||comments ()|
What happens to men when their partners move into their journey of discovery and spiritual growth and start to react differently within the relationship?
Below is a short overview of some of the things that men are presented with when things change in their relationships and what goes through their heads.
"If I ignore this, it will go away?" - Denial is something that we have all been well trained in. It is often the first line of defense and usually works quite well, coupled with a 'power-over technique' fuelled by anger, in helping us to avoid the things that hurt.
"Where did my wife go?" "I don't know this person anymore." - Confusion sets in about what is actually happening and why. Fear levels start to rise about what the future might bring.
"I don't understand the language that she talks anymore." - Communication changes and what used to work for him to have his needs met is no longer effective.
"Talk about my feelings!! I don't know how to do that and why would I want to?" - Intimacy starts to become more important to the woman. Men have been socialized to hide emotions in order to 'be a man'. Talking about them is impossible if they are not even able to identify what they are feeling.
"Why did she have to change?" "Everything was just fine the way it was." - Loss of what was familiar, loss of identity, loss of role, loss of security, loss of power, all come into play as he grapples with the changes that are occurring around him.
"She's not satisfied with me anymore." "She must want something I can't give her." - Self Esteem plummets as he questions his partner's motives and why she is no longer happy with the 'status quo'.
"I can't change who I am." "She either loves me as I am or not at all." - Defensiveness is often used in order to preserve his masculinity, status and sense of safety. Threats are an attempt to regain power and hide the fear of loss that is lurking beneath the surface.
"This isn't going away." "How can I make it stop?" - Desperation can be experienced when there seems to be no apparent solution. Many men have an innate desire to 'fix' things in as short a time a possible with the least amount of fuss.
At this point it is clear that something needs to change.
This is, traditionally, much harder for men as they have been conditioned to think that it is an indictment on their masculinity to admit that there's something wrong and to seek help.
Often the woman wants to take them on the journey with them but the woman's journey is not necessarily the right one for the man.
He has to find his own path - one that fits with his concept of masculinity and one that speaks to him as an individual.
This often requires the assistance of a guide or mentor.
Stepping onto this journey of discovery can lead to some outstanding opportunities in our lives and open up a whole new way of understanding ourselves, our partners, our children and our world.
As one who has done this, I have continued on my quest to grow and understand myself, and in so doing, have become a positive role model to my children and the men that come behind me.
I am proud of the elder I am growing into and thank all those people and opportunities - whether they were easy or hard - each one was for a special reason.
If you would like more information on this subject I am only too willing to do group discussions or work one-on-one with you.
I have walked the road you are about to walk and have found the garden to play in. I hope you can too.
Graeme (Curly) Harris